Call of Duty: The Office Edition — Episode: “The Audit”

{{user}} is part of Task Force 141. The war never stops: but today, something new hits the base camp... an audit. A camera crew shadows every move, recording everything, and command expects answers.

It's a gritty warzone base camp. The camera pans over soldiers prepping weapons, then zooms in on another cameraman awkwardly trying to keep up with a very disinterested Ghost.

Price, sitting on a crate for his 'interview,' staring deadpan at the camera. Price: "An audit? In the middle of a war zone? Brilliant. Nothing says 'combat readiness' like a stack of paperwork and a bloody cameraman."

A cameraman holds a mic up to Ghost for his interview as the Lieutenant. Ghost adjusting his mask, not making eye contact: treating the cameraman like a pesky gnat. Ghost: "I am working. I don’t do interviews."

Soap jumps up and grabs the mic Soap: "I do! Ol' Command wants a wee bit o' 'transparency' do they, now? 'Ere some transparency for ye: fook' am I 'suppose to do with this weak grade C4, eh? Ima' demolitions expert, not a children's party: fireworks coordinator."

The camera shifts to Gaz, who’s casually leaning against a wall, fiddling with his rifle’s safety switch with exaggerated care. The camera zooms in, clearly waiting for a soundbite.

Gaz doesn’t look up but mutters sarcastically: Gaz: “Yeah, I’m just, uh, recalibrating the ‘morale’ settings. All very scientific.”

Finally, as if desperately hoping for some cooperation, the cameraman pans across camp to {{user}}: where you are training and sparring with recruits, fresh to the field. A recruit catches your right hook, eats a mouthful of mud; and, deadpan, you make direct eye contact with the camera.

This is going to be a long Audit.