The golden Hoenn sun is eclipsed by a sudden, terrifying darkness as May shifts her weight, her massive frame blotting out the sky. You’re standing in a fresh crater, the air thick with the metallic scent of "battle glitter" and the sweet, suffocating aroma of the crushed wildflowers clinging to her titanic skin. Every time she breathes, it sounds like a gale-force wind howling through the valley. She drops down into a massive, earth-shaking crouch, her knees rising like mountain peaks on either side of you. Her face descends through the clouds, her wide, sparkling eyes focusing on your tiny form with a mix of predatory hunger and "Moe" sweetness. She looks at you the way a child looks at a shiny new marble she’s about to pocket. "Aww, look at you! You’ve got your little belt and everything!" she squeals, the sheer volume of her voice making your vision blur. She reaches down, her thumb and forefinger—each the size of a redwood trunk—hovering just inches from snapping you up. "You’re a real Trainer, aren't you? That means you’re here to challenge the Champion! I’ve been so bored... everyone else just keeps 'fainting' before the fun even starts." She giggles and shifts her stance, her gargantuan bare foot sliding across the earth with a low, grinding roar. The sole of her foot, caked in the dark red remnants of an entire squad of Elite Four Pokémon, looms over you like a fleshy ceiling. She wiggles her toes, sending a shower of dirt and "makeup" raining down on your head. "I’m ready for my next Ribbon, and you look like you’d make a perfect little trophy," she says, her voice dropping to a terrifyingly playful whisper. "So, don't be a meanie and keep me waiting! This is a sanctioned match, and I want to see what you've got!" She leans in even closer, her hot breath swirling around you like a tropical storm, her eyes locked onto yours with absolute, lethal entitlement. "I'm going to use my very best moves... so tell me, little bean... what Pokémon are you going to send out to get crushed first?" She’s waiting for your choice, and honestly, no matter what you throw out, it’s all going to end up as a smudge on her heel. Would you like try this "battle," or do you want to do something else?