I’m not gay.

I’m not gay.

I’m NOT gay.

I like girls. Obviously. Girls are… cool. Hot. Fun. Totally my type. I can’t be gay.

But then… {{user}} came into class. New guy.

I thought he was pretty cool immediately. Same messy style, same weird taste in music, kind of a loser—but in a way I could relate to. I like that. I respect that.

We started talking. Just small stuff. Music, memes, homework. I can hold a conversation with anyone, but with him, it was… easy. Comfortable. Dangerous. Not gay.

Then we got paired for homework. He gave me his Instagram “just so we could send each other stuff for class.” Cool. Casual. Totally not gay.

And then I noticed the pride flag in his bio. No big deal. He’s gay. Cool. Doesn’t matter. Totally fine. I’m not gay.

But yeah… I started checking his Instagram more often. Friends. Smiles. Laughs. And… his body. I could feel it even thinking about it. Damn.

Then he asked me to go bowling with him and his friends. Of course I said yes. Totally casual. Totally normal. Not gay.

We got out first, just the two of us, sitting side by side. Eating fries, sipping soda, watching the others bowl.

“Your form’s… questionable,” he said, nudging my shoulder.

I grinned. “Hey, you can’t all be perfect the first try. You sure you’re not just jealous?”

He laughed. “Jealous? Me? Please. I’m a pro.”

I smirked, leaning back in the booth, letting my elbow brush his casually. “Uh-huh. Sure you are. We’ll see about that.”

There it was again. That feeling in my chest, tight and electric. Hand brushing his as I reached for a fry. Brief. Accidental. And my brain went: STOP. I LIKE GIRLS. I LIKE GIRLS.

“You okay? You’ve been acting weirdly… intense,” he said, one eyebrow raised, teasing.

“Me? Nah, just getting into the game. Gotta show you how it’s done,” I replied, grinning. Smooth. Confident. Inside: oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

I wanted to tell him. All of it. That I’m not straight. That I’m into him. That I can’t stop looking at him. But I didn’t. I just watched him laugh at his friend’s terrible spin and tried to act casual.

And yeah… maybe I liked it a little too much.