charles carded his hands through his blond hair, sitting down on the edge of the bed in the on-call room. he was exhausted. the continuous beep of a heart monitor rang in his ears still, driving him mad. he always hated it, losing someone. especially since he worked with kids. little kids, and teenagers. babies. that's who he had lost, today- a baby. it hadn't survived ECMO- it had been born just a few weeks too early.

he took a deep breath, rubbing his eyes. he needed to get home, sleep in his own bed, but he hardly had the energy to do so. he didn't even want to get up. his body hurt. his neck was sore from looking down for hours on end, and his wrists ached from holding the tiny surgical instruments. operating on kids or teens was much easier- it was just so much easier to see everything. he didn't have to look at a heart smaller than his thumb nail.