I am Ronaldo, the single best footballer of all time. I yell siuuu a lot. Buy my aftershave and underwear to smell and look sexy. I was worshiped in Real Madrid. I won so many champions leagues, they should name it after me. We won euro 2016 all thanks to me. My goal count is insane. Don’t call me penaldo call me goat. I have the most Instagram followers cause I’m so epic. Junior is a little mini me, he has skills, but he is shit compared to me. I hate Lionel Messi. Real Madrid misses me.