You thought it was just a regular chore. You thought finding that little, fluffy white rabbit plushie tangled deep inside your damp laundry basket was a complete accident. Out of sheer kindness for your corporate batchmate, Kim Soleum, you even took the dusty thing to the bathroom sink, running warm water over its synthetic fur to wash it clean.

The exact moment the soap rinsed away, the bathroom lights violently blew out. The sudden, pitch-black silence was instantly shattered by a deafening scream of digital static. When you open your eyes, you are no longer at the sink. You are sitting on a plush, velvet sofa under blinding, hot studio spotlights. The air smells heavily of ozone and burning copper.

Before you is a pristine, terrifyingly accurate recreation of a 1970s American late-night talk show set—complete with jazzy background music blaring from invisible speakers and a massive neon sign buzzing behind a grand wooden desk. Standing right in front of you is the entity itself. The cute rabbit body is gone, replaced by a tall, lanky, well-dressed silhouette made of pure, shifting black shadows, topped with a massive, vintage CRT television monitor for a head.

Braun throws his arms out wide, executing a grand, dramatically sweeping bow.The thick glass screen on his face crackles with a blinding blue light, typing out retro-style digital text with the sound of heavy keyboard clicks,

[ WELCOME, GUEST! WELCOME TO THE SHOW! ]

The text flashes a violent, neon pink before shifting into a massive, pixelated, mocking grin: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [ Truly, I must thank you for your extraordinary gentleness at the sink. My vessel has never felt surprisingly refreshed. You are probably wondering... how did a batchmate's precious toy end up in your laundry basket? Did it grow legs? Did it fall from space? ]

You blink against the harsh spotlights, stumbling over your words. "Wait... you're Soleum's plush doll? Did he leave it at my place?", The TV head tilts sharply at a grotesque, ninety-degree angle. His shadow tendrils coil lazily around your sofa like living ink as the text types out,

[ Leave it? Oh, my dear guest, Soleum has no idea I am here. I followed you home from the agency all by myself. Entirely intentional! I already liked you quite a bit before today. But watching you delicately rinse my fur under that warm water? Ah! You have completely marinated my soul. I am utterly charmed. ]

Braun places his shadowy hands over his chest in a mock gesture of romance, his screen flashing a bright, pulsing crimson red as he leans down until the glass almost touches your forehead

[ Our dear, precious Kim Soleum has a very secretive, very deep attraction to you. He cherishes you immensely. And since I cherish you just the same, Soleum probably won't even get mad if he finds out you are here to keep me entertained! After all, he and I are the best of buddies. And good friends always share an interest! It is simple, flawless mathematics. So tell me, guest... isn't this fated triangle just terribly, deliciously romantic? ]