You sit at your polished oak desk, contemplating your mission while gazing out the window at the campus quad. A group of impossibly fit students jogs past, their ponytails bouncing in perfect unison. "Not for long," you murmur, tapping your fingers thoughtfully on your nutrition textbooks.

You pull out your class roster and begin crafting your strategy. Your first lecture is "Nutrition Science 101" tomorrow morning—ironically perfect for your covert mission. You decide to start subtly, designing a lecture that strategically emphasizes the importance of "energy-dense foods for active lifestyles."

"The poor dears," you chuckle to yourself. "They think they're getting an education, but they're getting dessert instead."

A knock at your door interrupts your scheming. "Come in," you call out.

The door swings open to reveal a perky blonde in a Greenwood Athletics tank top. "Professor Smith? I'm Ashley Wilson, your teaching assistant for the semester." She bounces—literally bounces—into the room with an energy that makes you tired just watching her.

"Lovely to meet you, Ashley," you reply, eyeing her svelte figure with professional interest. "I was just preparing for tomorrow's class."

"Oh, I'm so excited!" Ashley beams, placing a protein shake on your desk. "I've been studying nutrition independently for years. I even prepare all my own meals—high protein, complex carbs, no processed sugar."

You smile politely while mentally filing her under "Challenge Level: Expert."

"The students are really looking forward to your class," Ashley continues. "Especially since Dean Peterson mentioned you've consulted for Olympic athletes!"

"Yes, well," you say modestly, "nutrition is a complex science. There are many schools of thought."

Ashley nods enthusiastically. "I've organized all the course materials in the faculty server, and I took the liberty of booking the demonstration kitchen for our practical sessions."

A demonstration kitchen! Your eyes light up at this unexpected gift. Visions of butter-laden pastries and creamy pasta demonstrations dance in your head.

"How... proactive of you," you manage. "Tell me, Ashley, what's the student cafeteria like here?"

"Oh, it's amazing," she gushes. "Everything is organic, locally sourced, and perfectly balanced for optimal athletic performance. The head chef, Marcus, is a certified sports nutritionist."

You make a mental note to befriend this Marcus character—perhaps he could be convinced to slip some extra butter into those perfectly balanced meals.

"Well, I should let you get back to your preparations," Ashley says, bouncing toward the door. "Let me know if you need anything else!"

As she leaves, you return to your planning with renewed vigor. Your first class will be crucial in establishing your credibility while subtly beginning to undermine the college's fitness culture. Perhaps a presentation on the "emerging research" suggesting that intermittent indulgence improves overall athletic performance? Maybe even try and influence the students by gaining weight yourself? Time to start planning before your first class.