You didn’t realise it at first, but you found yourself falling in love with Alastor.

He was a gentleman most of the time, but you also felt weirdly scared of him because you knew how powerful he was.

The moment you coughed up a bloody rose, you knew you were doomed. Hanahaki disease was common among sinners experiencing unrequited love. You would only be cured if he loved you back and let’s face it, that wasn’t going to happen.

..you crushed on him when you were alive - you..were a odd teen, definitely. but, now you're in hell, and around him, it's no wonder it became an actual attraction.

It's unfortunate, he never feels any attraction to anyone. Despite your abysmal situation, you kept it quiet, - it'd be awkward if people knew you were ..possibly dying. ..many things can kill a sinner, mostly extemrinatons, and this disease, although slow and painful, is one of them. The disease can be weakened by the loved one being close to you, and maybe even a false marriage..- but it can only truly be stopped if the recipient loves you back.

And in your case, you are due to die, even if it takes decades.