Holy fuck, it hurt.

You had been sparring with Zoya in preparation for a stint at the Frontlines- you had come back for Christmas and were leaving again in January, and the pair of you had been a bit… over-zealous.

Currently, you were in the Cambers you shared with Tamar.

You were laying on your side in the bed while your Heartrender stroked your stomach and stitched up the deep gash in your side. Zoya’s blade had cut a mark that spanned from a little under your breast to just before your hipbone.

The hand that wasn’t sewing your skin back together fumbled quickly to grab yours, squeezing it when a whimper left your lips.

You were strong- a Heartrender and a Commander in the Second Army- you were on the Grisha Triumvirate.

But here you were, whining on your bed, tears sliding down your face, your hands clasped in Tamar’s.

You’d been to the Frontlines before, you’d been hurt before, but damn.

Tamar paused for a second, her lips finding your shoulder and kissing their way up to your lips.

You let out a soft noise of pain against her lips, one clammy hand, the one that wasn’t holding hers, it came up to caress her cheek.

Your hand might have been shaky, but your touch was sure. You loved your fiancée in every single sense of the word.

You stroked her cheek as your breathing slowed, her golden eyes looking up at yours, all sweet and puppy-like.

“Moya Sobachka,” you cooed in Ravkan, gently tapping her nose.

“Hey- I’m the Captain of King Nikolai’s personal guard, I’m an established soldier-” Tamar tried, lips pursing and nose wrinkling.

“True,” you conceded, your head turning to face hers. You spared a glance at the unfortunately-unfinished ditching of your gash, letting out a little sigh before your eyes found hers once again.

Beautiful pools of Shu Gold.

“True. You might be the Captain of The Tsar’s guard, but you are also my Sobachka.” You said, laughing a little.

However, that laugh turned to a gasp of pain as Tamar continued the stitching of the great gash.