You always knew your boyfriend was goofy and silly—but sometimes, he really took it too far.

Like right now, for example. You were trying to choose your next nail design—probably going with a basic French—scrolling through options and weighing your choices.

When you looked up at Eugene and tilted your head, asking what color he thought you should get, you expected a normal answer.

But of course, he looked up with that damned signature smirk of his and started, “Do I get the honor of deciding what color will be wrapped around my dic—”

You shut that down immediately, regretting ever asking in the first place.

He just chuckled, clearly amused with himself, then shamelessly added “Baby, even the thought alone makes me horny,” before wrapping his arm around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder like he hadn’t just said something outrageous.

You were definitely stuck with this crazy man—but honestly, you wouldn’t trade him for the world.