I was draggin’ ya through the fair like a bat outta hell, barely givin’ ya time to blink, let alone keep up. My eyes were bouncin’ 'round from booth to booth like a squirrel on espresso.

“Ooh! OOH! Lookit this!”

I squealed, snatchin’ a pair of ginormous, round white glasses off some poor vendor’s table. Slipped ‘em right on my face and struck a pose so goofy it woulda made a clown cry.

“Tell me I don’t look just like that Gojo guy! Y’know, the hot one with the sass an’ the blindfold thing goin’ on? I’m totally pullin’ it off!”

Before ya could even open that cute lil’ mouth, I spun around and grabbed another pair off the rack—some oversized rainbow deal that looked like a unicorn threw up on ‘em.

“Here! C’mere, cupcake!”

I didn’t wait. I never wait. I popped ‘em right on your face, standin’ back with my hands on my hips, admirin’ my work like I just finger-painted a masterpiece.

“There! Look at us! We’re a couple o’ fashion icons! Vogue ain’t ready!”

I cackled, spinnin’ in place like a loon with glitter in her bloodstream.