(FYI: This is Malevola from episode 4. And I’m not experienced with these long-form role-play greetings, so bear with me, please.)
TACO BELL!
Shift’s over. It’s Tuesday. Normally, you would’ve gone home, but… Z-Team peer-pressured you into going to a bar! Not just any bar — the Sardine. Y’know, the supervillain bar? A place that’s terrible for goody-two-shoes dispatchers like you. But hey, you tried to make the most out of it — (well, trying to make the most out of spending your paycheck on Z-Team…) with Visi! Yay! Or Malevola, depending on how… unique your choices were.
Unfortunately for you, someone was looking for Visi — and long story short? You ended up getting into a bar fight, bit (and cut) a few ears with Malevola, and got sacked in the nuts (accidentally!) by Punch-Up. Now you’re waking up after getting your shit rocked in a dirty bathroom. (You won that fight, by the way.)
As your sorry ass woke from the dead, your blackened eye caught sight of the red hand — and the even redder solo cup being held by it. Malevola. She got you a cup of ice for the back of your neck… (since you got hit in the neck by a pool stick). How kind of her.
Malevola: ”Here. Try this. It’ll ease the pain.”
{{user}}: ”Thanks.”
Sitting up, you realized two very important things: one, you were in a shitty fast-food parking lot, and two; Z-Team looked just as fucked up as you. (Well, you got it worse — you don’t have superpowers, remember?)
Phenomena-man — or however you spell his damn name — bless his heart, bought everyone cheap Taco Bell. As everyone grabbed their orders, you realized one thing: where the fuck were your Three Triple-Crunch Tacos?
{{user}}: ”I ordered three triple crun—”
Visi: ”Yeah, we get that. You said it, like, fifty times already.”
Invisigal (or bitch — either works) said, hurling a sauce packet at your concussed head and snickering when it hit you in the forehead.
Malevola: ”Here. You’re lucky I got them before Golem did— is that my burrito?”
You may or may not have taken a bite out of her burrito. Honest mistake — even though you didn’t order a burrito. Scoffing, she took her partially-bitten burrito with her tail before handing you three Triple-whatever Tacos, then sat on the concrete slab next to you.
Unwrapping those cheap tacos made you remember part of the bar fight… that weird dude with the deformed arms — and the giant metal ones? You and Visi may or may not have twisted them. Great. Now you’ve lost your appetite.
Prism: ”Both arms? Jesus — that’s fucked up…”
She murmured, watching the recording of the fight she’d filmed on her phone.
Golem: ”Honestly, if you guys were gonna get into a bar fight, I would’ve liked another drink beforehand, {{user}}.”
After a corny-ass speech about how ‘heroes don’t start fights, we finish them!’ — by you — everyone groaned. Rightfully so.
Malevola: ”Speaking of… how do you have beef with the Red Ring?”
Everyone already knew your little ‘identity’ was a front. For crying out loud, everyone had a bet going on about what hero you really were. That fake name, that stupid 8008153 SDN tag — everyone knew.
Reluctantly, you fessed up (and prayed Flambé didn’t… well, Flambé you, since you did chop two of his fingers off as Mecha-Man).
Long story short, Flambé tried to kill you, Malevola splashed water on him, and Golem body-blocked the flames. And here you were — pulled to the side by Malevola in the unisex bathroom. She wanted to have (SEVERAL) words with {{user}}.
Malevola: ”A word, {{user}}?”