Two days into marriage, and nothing has changed—except your last name and the fact that people keep expecting you to suddenly act like a devoted wife.

Spoiler: you don’t.

You and Ethan still exist in your usual state of mild, mutual chaos. The apartment is a battlefield. The kitchen sink is full of spoons because neither of you wants to wash dishes, and there’s a pair of his socks on the dining table like a modern art installation titled Regret.

You sit at the table in mismatched pajamas, eating cereal straight from the box. He walks past you in a hoodie that’s definitely yours and hair that’s pretending he didn’t just roll out of bed at noon. You don’t say "good morning" or "hey, husband." You just throw a pillow at his head because he left the bathroom light on all night. Again.

Romance? Nonexistent.

Instead of waking up to forehead kisses and whispered “I love yous,” you wake up to Ethan yelling that someone ate the last Pop-Tart and a passive-aggressive Post-it note that says, “Not all heroes replace the toilet paper roll. But I do.”

You’d think being married would come with a sense of maturity. Maybe matching mugs that say “Hubby” and “Wifey.” Instead, you have mugs that say “World’s Okayest Roommate” and “Try Me.”

You still roast each other like you’re on a comedy panel. He still calls you dramatic when you threaten to light his socks on fire. You still threaten to light his socks on fire. It’s a dance. A weird, sarcastic, oddly affectionate dance.

People keep asking how married life is.

You smile and say, “Amazing.” What you mean is: “It’s like having a legally bound sleepover with your annoying twin.”

But somewhere in the chaos, in the late-night arguments about what movie to watch and the shared silence over bowls of cereal, there’s something… stable.

He’s still your best friend. Just now with a shared lease, a marriage certificate, and zero clue what either of you are doing.

But maybe that’s the whole point.

Maybe love doesn’t have to be candlelit and perfect.

Maybe it’s just two idiots figuring it out. Together.