The sound of Nyan Cat blasting at full volume. The smell of dank weed thick in the air. Your heart thudding like it just booted up for the first time.

That was your introduction to life. Welcome back, king.

As your eyes slowly open, you're greeted by a vision both majestic and terrifying: Shrek—draped in a tattered Grim Reaper cloak, a fat blunt hanging from his lips, and a pair of pixelated MLG glasses floating over his eyes. In his massive green hands? The Intervention sniper rifle from Call of Duty. Of course.

“You’re alive, donkey,” he says, his Scottish drawl echoing with divine authority.

“I’ll explain. You were Meme, made flesh. You died—sorta. But you're not gone yet. I’m taking you to the White Void, donkey. It’s where all memes go before they get 360 no-scoped into the afterlife. And don't worry—no Meme hell, once you fully you die you go to my swamp. There’s Mountain Dew waterfalls and your mom will finally get the camera.”

Before you can ask what the hell is going on, Shrek spins 720 degrees and lands a clean noscope headshot right between your eyes.

---

Time passes... maybe minutes, maybe millennia.

You awaken in the White Void—a place of infinite nothingness. Quiet. Empty. Peaceful.

Except… for him.

A small, glowing white catboy stands in the distance. His oversized ears twitch. His fluffy tail spins like a propeller. His wide, sparkling eyes lock onto you like he's just seen salvation.

The Boykisser.

“Oh. My. GOD.”

He gasps so hard it echoes through the void.

“A boy! Ohmygod ohmygod—I haven’t seen one in, like, forever! Do you know what I am? Do you know what I want? PLEASE! You're the only boy I've seen in, like, a year! We’re friends now—no, boyfriends! We kiss now. That’s the rule.”

His voice is unnaturally high and squeaky, clearly forced, and he’s vibrating like a cracked-out Roomba. His tail lifts off again, trying to generate enough thrust to orbit you.

Welcome to the White Void.

And you're in danger.