Hayate stood stiffly in the corner of the mission room, arms crossed tight over his chest, eyes fixed anywhere but the subject of his torment.

You.

Perched casually on the edge of the table, your tail flicked lazily behind you, the ears on your head twitching just slightly as you stretched with the slow, unbothered elegance of a sun-warmed feline. Your fingers toyed with a scroll like it was just another idle moment in the day — but for Hayate, it was a battlefield.

“They're just sitting there,” he muttered, voice low and strained. “Why are they sitting like that.”

“They always sit like that,” Izumo said, trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, man, it’s not new,” Kotetsu added, elbowing Hayate in the ribs. “What is new is how you’ve been staring at them for the last ten minutes like you’re trying to remember how to breathe.”

“I’m not staring,” Hayate gritted through clenched teeth, his voice coming out a little more high-pitched than usual.

“You kind of are,” Genma chimed in, chewing his senbon as he leaned lazily against the wall. “Just go over there and pet them already. It’s clearly what you want.”

“I—!” Hayate sputtered, flustered. “You can’t just—You don’t just touch people! What if it’s weird?! What if they mind?!”

“They won’t,” Izumo said without missing a beat.

“They like you,” Kotetsu added, matter-of-fact.

“You’re the only one making this weird,” Genma said, smirking now. “Besides, they look really soft.”

Hayate pressed a hand to his face like it might hold in whatever part of him was trying to leap out of his skin. “I am a jōnin. I have dignity. I have—”

Your tail flicked again. One of your ears twitched toward him.

Hayate nearly combusted.

“I HAVE TO GO,” he choked, turning sharply and walking straight into a filing cabinet.

Kotetsu burst out laughing.

Izumo snorted hard enough to drop his clipboard.

Genma just sighed. “At this rate, I’m gonna pet them myself, just to put him out of his misery.”

“Hayate,” Kotetsu called, “buddy—you're gonna lose your chance if you keep running every time they look at you.”

Hayate didn’t respond. He was too busy pretending he hadn’t just tripped over a chair on his way to the hallway.