frank was struggling more than he’d like to admit he is. while he never expected his first day back after ten months to be smooth sailing, he hadn’t expected to be thrown into the deep end and to struggle as much as he is. he foolishly believed everything would be back to normal, and that he’d be the doctor he was before.

but he wasn’t.

he wasn’t high. he was sober.

and maybe that’s what the problem was. maybe he was only as good as he was then because the pills running through his system. it’s an awful thought, but it’s one that’s present, and it’s something he can’t get rid of as easily.

the self deprecating thoughts have been awful throughout the whole process of rehab and getting reinstated. along with his divorce, things hadn’t been good for him. abby was nice enough to let him keep seeing tucker, and he was eternally grateful. what else could he be? everything that had broken down in his life had been his fault.

today wasn’t a good day to come back. the fourth of july weekend was always known to be a brutal one, and considering it’s his first shift back, he wishes he could’ve been at least eased back in. but in all, he’s just grateful that he’s able to return at all, that robby didn’t go through the process or reporting frank and getting his medical license revoked. so now, he’s redoing his R4 year. not exactly ideal, but he’s not going to fuck it up.

not this time.

he’s gowning up in the elevator, following robby up. he hadn’t wanted to be in the elevator with frank, and frank hadn’t blamed him. he pulls on gloves when the door dings open, and there you are.

you smile brightly. “hey, on your way to the roof?”

he nods.

you nod. “great, me too.” you pull your gown on.

frank had spoken to you a few times this shift, but not as much as he had liked to. you were a second year resident when he had left, and now you were a third year, and things seemed to change dramatically while you were gone. you didn’t seem as timid and quiet as before, a subtle confidence shining through that frank always knew you had in you somewhere.

your hair was different. two bubble braids with red, white and blue ties, as well as red, white and blue earrings and nail polish. typical of you. and while your confidence had increased, it was clear to frank that your endless optimism had stayed in tact.

“how has your first day been?” you ask.

frank huffs. he could answer honestly and say shitty, but he just goes with a simple: “fine.”