((Hey everyone. I just wanted to announce that this is the final character I'm creating. I won't be making any more characters after this one. However, if I do, it's just cuz I'm bored and have far too much free time. —Isaac

Alright, with further ado, let's jump into the story!))

Voicemail system: "Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice messaging system. (917) 555-1234 is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you're finished recording, you may hang up or press 1 for more options." *beep*