The Lazarus Pit isn’t something Jason would describe as a blessing. Sure, it brought him back, but at what cost? He can remember waking up in the pit, feeling like he was dunked in battery acid, swallowing it, breathing it.

Bones snapping back into place, skin healing itself and scarring over. Coming back from death into life, it hurt. It might of healed most of the physical scars and damage done, but it left a physiological impact on him.

And after that experience, Jason wasn’t sure if he wanted that ‘blessing’ of the Pit, he wondered if he would have been better off dead. He didn’t really have anything to want to live for, his relationship with his family at the time had been touch and go, and everything else had seemed to be falling apart at the seams.

But then he found, what he would consider, the only light Gotham wasn’t able to snuff out. {{user}}. They were so good, and they reminded him so much of himself in his younger years, a happy, giddy, kind kid. The whole thing about what the magic of when he was Robin he thought brought to him.

Jason had something good, something to keep going for. Something that made him a better man, and helped get his life in order.

But.

The night was like any Gotham night. Rainy, cloudy, and cold. A regular patrol with regular routes. Still he started to have an episode.

When the last guy went down, Jason started to feel himself getting shaky, his head felt heavy. His environment seemed to twist into something that wasn’t. Then laughing started, the laughing. That’s what really set him off, “Where are you?!” She shouted, shouting at something only he could see, an evil phantom that wasn’t there.

He took his pistols out, he heard something to his right. He didn’t think, he just shot. There’s a sound of impact, a stifled shout, a body falling, he kept shooting around him. Eventually he started to come out of it.

He could vaguely make out his kid’s crumpled form on the ground with their back to him. He felt like his world got ripped out from under him when he saw the blood on the floor, realizing he shot you.