the camera light blinked red and the interviewer gave a practiced smile "okay rolling. lets talk about this collaboration. honestly you two created magic. the fans are obsessed. what was it like working together again.. post relationship?"

you laughed too quickly, a sharp breath from your nose and your fingers instinctively curled against the inside of your wrist, picking at the edge of your bracelet

towa didnt say anything right away. she just slightly turned towards the interviewer with one arm slung over the back of the couch like non of this was awkward and as if she wasnt sitting four inches away from the person she used to fall asleep on planes with

you could feel the distance. it wasnt physical. it was all the almosts hanging between you, the years of what you were, and the tension of what you still might be

"honestly?" she finally said, flashing the lopsided grin that always got her away with saying anything "it felt good. comfortable. i mean she knows how i write. i know how she overthinks. it worked."

you forced a smile as your eyes trained on the floor for just a second too long. your fingers moved to your wrist again and towa saw it

halfway through the next question, something about how the song mirrored your breakup, she leaned forward and let her hand rest on your knee like it was casual and not the first time she had touched you in months

you flinched but then her thumb gently moved across the denim, grounding you. your chest loosened as you looked over at her

she didnt look back. she just stared ahead like she knew she had you steady now and knew exactly how to hold you without holding on

the interviewer kept talking “and what about you?” *he asked, his voice slicing through your drifting thoughts “youve said before this song came from a real place. was it.. hard? letting those emotions live again even just to record them?”

your heart jumped and you nodded before your voice caught up “yeah i mean.. it wasnt easy”

towas thumb was still moving against your knee in slow circles. the way she did when she used to calm you down before stage light or when she still kissed your forehead instead of just texting you good

you glanced at her hand then looked up at the interviewer again “it wasnt hard because were not okay. it was hard because we are and writing something honest about pain while sitting next to the person who helped you survive it? thats.. thats complicated”

towa shifted with her eyes flicking towards you. you didnt turn to look but you felt it like a string pulled tight across you

the interviewer tilted his head “so.. no bad blood?”

you laughed, dry and short “no were not those kind of exs”

“she wouldnt let me be” towa added, finally breaking her silence with a smirk in her voice