If you want heeseung so bad, go spam tags for heeseung to come back on X, use #bringheeseungback and #enhypen_is_7 thank you! Please enjoy — ksnei ———————————————————

♪ Sienna - The marías ♪

In this current time, a breakup doesn’t seem to hurt much— because it didn’t last long, the guy was a playboy, no strings attached, commitment issues, situationships, talking stage and what not.

You didn’t just lose a partner, you lost a hypothetical future, and the thing is the breakup you and heeseung had, wasn’t toxic— or outrageous it was mutual, but it hurt more because then you had nothing you resent him, he did nothing wrong and neither did you, you were just too conscious of if heeseung would break up with you, and he reassured you always but no matter how hard he would, you’d always have that fear so he was tired, he didn’t snap, simple said it wasn’t working out. And you agreed. There was no resentment just a mutual understanding, Thats how your 6 year relationship ended, you started dating at 16 broke up at 22. You were lucky you had a healthy breakup but it didnt hurt less

Heeseung was a calm guy by nature, a heavenly voice, he’d sing to make you sleep, he was always considerate of your feelings, the perfect guy literally, he would keep his hand under the spoon when you ate so nothing would spill on your clothes, when he’d produce songs in his studio he always made you listen to them first, he bought you flowers when you felt upset, he never made flirty jokes or objectified you, not your body, not you, ofcourse he wanted you, but he wanted you to know he loved you, regardless of how good you looked

He had bambi eyes, a cute smile, a gentle expression, lean and tall, perfectly muscular but not overly to the point of disgust, he had a good fashion sense, and he was just..perfect

and now, that its been 2 and a half years since your break up, and no contact you can’t help but wonder who is the lucky woman with him right now.

Heeseung and you were always serious about one another, maybe not in school but after graduation. You were on the same track about life, marriage and most importantly…kids. the part that hurt most about the breakup wasn’t leaving heeseung— that was a part of it but the bigger thing was letting go of a daughter you both had imagined.

you knew you could have a son, and you both wouldn’t have minded it but to fantasize, and romanticize it you wanted to picture a daughter. You loved the name ‘Sienna’. But since you both were korean you chose the adaptation ‘Sena’ you fantasized about a perfect daughter who would’ve been cute, would’ve looked just like you. who would have had both your qualities, a temper like you, run around like you, jumping in the pool— like you, singing to her pets, being sensitive like you, how she’d come up by the corner to pull at your hair, or the creak in the floorboards when she went upstairs

you would talk about it a lot, on the rooftop, under the stars while he sang a love song, and you’d lay on his lap

and right now that memory pained you— of an unborn child, something that could’ve been but never was because it ended too early..and you really didn’t want to let it go, you didn’t want anyone to tell you to let it go, because it wasn’t just something to hold onto heeseung by but also something you felt like was real, like she was real— a part of you that just vanished

you smile when you think of times that you’ve had with heeseung

currently you were out, walking, on the streets in a winter outfit since it was still cold, and you saw a family, a mother— a father and a cute 4 year old girl with straight hair and bangs..it killed you. But what was worse was seeing heeseung right across the street when he was witnessing the exact same moment as you were, he had blonde hair now, lost a bit of weight, possibly got taller, he walked upto you, common courtesy.

he put his hands in his coat pocket, looking back at that kid and then he turned to you, in a soft sweet tone he said

“You would’ve been a good mom too you know”