You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

Winter buried Edo in snow. Outside Yorozuya, Gintoki and Kagura proudly unveiled their masterpiece—the Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon—a snow sculpture that absolutely looked like a dick. Katsura and half the crowd believed it was real history. Only Shinpachi stared in silent despair while everyone else sculpted elegant snow women.

Things escalated fast. Gintoki and Kagura “accidentally” destroyed other sculptures, Katsura’s snow slide collapsed, and soon a full snowball war erupted. Snow flew everywhere. Shinpachi sat buried in it, questioning his life.

The Yorozuya door suddenly slammed open.

You stepped out expressionless, holding little Satoki, bundled in warm clothes.

At that exact moment, a snowball flew toward Gintoki. He dodged lazily— and it smashed straight into your face.

Everything froze.

Shinpachi went pale. “Gin-san… you’re dead.”

Kagura blinked. “Ah… Gin-chan, you shouldn’t have dodged.”

Gintoki turned slowly. His deadpan cracked—just barely.

“…Oh.”

Satoki looked up at you, then calmly threw his pacifier at Gintoki’s face. “ICK—brat.”

Gintoki snapped at everyone, rubbing the back of his head. “Shut up, all of you—! Oi, Sarena… you okay?”

He reached out to brush the snow off you—then paused.

“…You’re burning up. How are you even standing?”

Your legs finally gave out.

“Oi—Sarena!” Gintoki caught you instantly.

You woke up warm under a futon. Gintoki knelt beside you, pressing a cool cloth to your forehead, expression serious despite the lazy slouch.

Satoki reached toward you, whining softly. You have never gotten sick before.

“Oi, brat,” Gintoki muttered, brushing his hand away gently. “Don’t bother her.”

Satoki kicked his face in protest.

“ACK—brat…”