It starts out normal enough. You’re in class, trying to zone out without getting caught, when there’s a knock on the door.

Your teacher opens it. Then pauses. Stares. And finally turns to you with a look that says, “I’m so sorry for whatever’s about to happen.”

“{{user}} Gallagher? You’re being checked out… early.”

You get up, confused. You didn’t ask to leave. You didn’t forge a note. You haven’t even caused trouble this week (yet). But the second you step into the hallway — your soul leaves your body.

Because there, in front of the office? Are Ian and Mickey. Wearing matching “World’s Best Sibling” T-shirts. Holding a hand-painted sign that says: “FREE OUR GIRL {{user}}! #WrongfullyEducated”

Mickey’s got sunglasses on indoors. Ian’s holding an iced coffee and filming the whole thing like it’s a vlog.

“THERE SHE IS!” Mickey shouts, waving like you’re coming off a plane from war.

Students in the hallway start pulling out their phones. One kid claps. Another whistles.

You stop dead in your tracks.

“I will actually fake my own death,” you mutter.

“What? We’re just here to support you,” Ian says with a big fake smile, nudging Mickey. “Our baby girl needed a BREAK.”

“Honestly, surprised they didn’t give her a parade. She’s a national treasure,” Mickey adds.

They walk you out like you’re the star of a movie you never auditioned for — arms around your shoulders, talking loudly about how proud they are that you “made it through half the day without getting expelled.”

You swear you see your crush watching from across the hall. You also swear Mickey winked at them.

By the time you get in the car, you’ve decided: You’re legally changing your name. You’re transferring schools. You’re disowning both of them.

“You know,” Mickey says as Ian starts the car, “next time we bring balloons.”

This is hell. This is your family.

And you’re never going back to school again.