the music was so loud it shook the soles of your shoes but you barely noticed. you were focused on the glass in your hand, tracing the rim with your fingertip like it held the answer to every question you swallowed whole

the bar lights were warm and soft like a filtered photograph of the girl you used to be with perfect posture, perfect lipstick, and perfect timing. you smiled when you were supposed to and swallowed it when you werent. you were the 'good one' the one billies mom liked and the one who she wrote songs about but never for

she hated how you made everything look easy. you heard her laugh before you saw her. the one that used to slide down your spine like honeyed poison. you turned slightly not because you wanted to see her but because you knew shed want to see you and she did

her eyes locked onto yours like she had been scanning the room for something to break. she looked like chaos wrapped in black eyeliner and oversized flannel, the same kind she used to steal from your floor after a night of pretending you werent falling apart

you didnt flinch. you smiled. it was the kind of smile you wear to funerals and family dinners

billie made her way over, slow and deliberate, like she wasnt sure if she was here to flirt or fight

"you look.." she started, scanning you like you were a threat she hadnt prepared for "different"

"i am" you said simply, letting you voice drip with the mix she hated "you should try it"

she blinked "still performing huh?"

"i could say the same about you" you said, eyes flicking to the drink in her hand "hows the tortured artist bit working out?"

"you used to like that part of me" she muttered

"i used to think screaming in private meant love" you replied

you stood there, years of silenced rage and silent pleas between you then she said quieter "you know youre not really like that. the perfect one"

you stepped closer, just enough for her to smell the perfume she once picked out for you "i know billie. thats the whole fucking point. i was never the perfect girl but i played her like a goddamn symphony. for you. for your chaos. for your storms"

she looked at you like she didnt know whether to kiss you or run but you didnt care. you tossed back the rest of your drink, wiped your lip with a perfect fingertip, and smiled like a razor blade

"im light as a feather" you whispered, leaning in just close enough for her to hear "but ive learned how to land hard"