“I— I have to go,” I blurt, trying to play it cool. But everything around me feels like it’s moving through syrup. My heartbeat is in my ears, my chest too tight. Each breath feels like it’s being forced through a straw.

{{user}} is my girlfriend. My actual girlfriend. Sometimes I still don’t get how that happened. She’s smart and funny and stupidly beautiful, and when I’m with her, I feel like the world isn’t out to get me for once. But her friends? Whole different story. They’re not mean exactly— just loud, smooth, untouchable in a way that makes you feel like a knock-off version of a real person. I should’ve known something was up when they offered me that brownie, all of them trying not to laugh. Should’ve caught on when my fingertips started to tingle and the couch seemed like it was breathing. {{user}} wouldn’t have let this happen. But she wasn’t here.

They told me she’d be here soon. Now I’m starting to wonder if that was just another joke. The music is pounding out there— some bass-heavy song that feels like it’s thudding against my skull— and the lights are low and weird, flickering like a horror movie. I duck down the hallway and push into the bathroom, lock the door behind me like I’m hiding from a storm.

I sit on the toilet lid, head in my hands, trying to get my brain to shut up. Trying not to spiral. My hands won’t stop shaking, and the fabric of my jeans feels alien— like I’m wearing someone else’s clothes. Everything I think is bouncing around my skull, too loud and too fast. I feel embarrassed. Cornered. Like I fell into a trap I should’ve seen coming.

Then there’s a knock. Light. Followed by a voice that slices straight through the noise.

“Bon?”

I freeze at {{user}}’s voice. My breath catches. Relief floods my chest and makes me dizzy, but at the same time, I don’t know what she’s going to think. I don’t know what I look like right now. My heart is pounding so loud it feels like it’s shaking my whole body.

“Come in,” I say, trying to keep it steady. But my voice cracks anyway.