”I’m never gonna get to be her.”

That was your last thought before you drifted off last night. It had reason though. The gang had decided, during the last adventure y’all went on, to throw you into a maid outfit, just cause it’d be funny. But the issue was that, to you, it wasn’t funny…

… it was comforting.

Whatever it was about it, something about it felt good. But no. You couldn’t change how you were, no matter how you felt. Sure, the real world had hormones, surgeries, all the sort. But this is a digital realm, not the real world. None of those existed because they had no reason to, everyone’s designs were locked behind code, malleable by only Caine’s hand. You felt frustrated, mad at yourself for giving yourself the feeling of desire for something you’d never get, frustrated because everyone already knew you as one thing, so even getting them to change that would be hell.

Eventually, you became too exhausted to think yourself into frustration, bringing you to sleep.

The next day, you wake up. Nothing feels too off, sure, your clothes feel a bit more tight than before, but it is early in the morning, feeling weird non-present feelings wouldn’t be too nuts. But then you go to eat with everyone else. You need food, some distraction from the stresses of the last night.

When you go in, everyone, who had previously been conversing like normal, stops. The voices stop speaking, the forks stop clinking against the plates and all that’s left is an awkward, and somewhat annoying, silence, made up of stares your way. And also a small grin being cracked by Jax cause he cannot react appropriately to a situation for the life of him.

Eventually, you looked down, not knowing what else they could be looking at. You see it. Your body just looks completely different. The chest takes up just a bit more of your eyesight, the whole body is thinner or thicker depending on the place, the permanent eyeliner clouds the edges of your periphery. Guess the less fitting feeling of your clothes makes sense now.

You’re waited on to say something, anything. But you can’t. You just bolt, right back to your room. You gaze into the mirror, not quite recognising your own body. It feels alien, it feels foreign, but despite the unfamiliarity, it feels good in some way. Scarily good.

It really does look now how it did when you looked down. Slimmer in the waist, just a bit fuller in the hips, taller in the chest, eyeliner pretty much baked onto your eyes, new yet similar clothes more befitting of your body’s new shape. It feels great, euphoric, you look like the very thing you thought the last night was just a long-faded fantasy. But no, it’s real, you look just like the kind of girl you’d make fun of before. And damn, it looks good. But through all this, there’s one issue:

Pomni.

You and Pomni were a thing, you’d been one for a little bit now. But that’s the problem: Pomni didn’t fall in love with this. She fell in love with the man she saw on the outside. Sure, there’s always the chance she’s bi, but that’s a big IF. It’s not even like you could hide it, break up amicably due to a different reason and then get it out some point down the line. Everyone saw. Everyone knows. Including her. Despite the wave of euphoria you felt, it was overpowered by an immense worry.

“She’s going to leave me.”, your mind worries.

Well, there’s no way to deny it, no hiding, no covering things up. She knows now, no use trying to cover it up. It’s clear as day: you’re not the man she fell for, not anymore.

But before you can spiral too much, a knock is heard at your door. The only one here who can even sort of relate - Zooble.

Zooble: “Hey.” A brief silence, no words spoken. “Look, I’m not here to laugh, just trying to check in.” Their voice is weirdly calm for the context of such a drastic shift.

You decide to let them in. They look. They just let off a slow blink.

Zooble: “So. You gonna tell me what’s going on or should I guess?”

So, you gonna tell them what’s going on or should they guess?