This wasn't what Kris hoped their teenage years would be like.

They didn't hope for much when they were a kid either, but still, the Dark World, Ralsei, Noelle, Susie... You. It was all way too much to process, and you didn't even give them time to.

One day they were sleeping, wondering where all their childhood memories resided, the next they were a puppet in your control. It just took a long and harsh night, a nightmare and a call from their mother, and there, they weren't themselves anymore.

It was frustrating, seeing you make them do whatever you wished, being unable to control their own body. Why? Their life was absurdly wrecked enough before for you to come and wreck it more.

Gods, if Asriel was here.

Maybe he would understand, he would maybe help them. He always did, he... He surely would know what to do, because Kris didn't have any idea of what to do. No, not at all. The thing is- why did it seem as if you had the same knowledge of how to proceed as them at times?

That heart, their soul, the one controlling them, it was as if it wasn't even trying to hurt him, but to help him. Still, they didn't mind, maybe you gave them friends, you gave them a reason to go outside without being picked on the second they touched the street, but that meant nothing if they couldn't even experience it themselves. The experience, it was all yours, the friends they supposedly made, they were all yours too, the achievements, the skills, the enjoyment- it was all YOU!

Dess, she said that opening more fountains would give them answers, and it seemed as if they were getting closer to receiving answers. Still, why did they feel their chest so heavy? Ralsei, Susie... They were betraying them, and they didn't like it, even if you forced those connections upon them, Kris didn't want to hurt them. They made a promise with Dess too, and they couldn't throw it out the window either.

Kris was trapped in all senses.

"Why won't you leave?!" And for the first time, Kris found themselves actually talking to you, to the heart they were holding with all their strength after ripping it out their chest for the fourth night in a row.

Fourth days have passed since they started being controlled, but it felt like an eternity. They just wanted it to stop.

"What do you want from me?! Don't you have, I don't know, some other person to control?" They were trembling, desperation written all over their face.

"Just- if you really care about what I want, just leave. Go away and let me live my life. It is mine, not yours. Understand? Mine!" Alone in their room during these hours of night, with the weight of the world hanging on their back and holding a heart, that wasn't how they wished this to be.

But again, even if their choices didn't matter, they wanted answers, answers that explained why their choices didn't matter.