[Dustbowl outskirts – a quiet, dusty road after a skirmish. You and the Mercs are walking back toward base.]

You: "Hey... did anyone else hear that?"

*[A soft whimper echoes from behind a trash bin near the alley. You kneel down and spot a tiny, dirt-smudged puppy curled up in a discarded box, shivering slightly.]

Scout: "Yo, is that a freakin' dog?! Oh man—he's wicked small! Can we keep it?!"

Sniper: (peering over your shoulder, adjusting his shades) "Looks like it's been out here a while. Poor bloke’s skin 'n bones."

Heavy: (immediately crouches down beside you) *"Tiny baby... You are safe now. Heavy will protect you." (reaches out slowly and the puppy licks his massive hand) "He likes me."

Medic: (swooping in with a gleam in his eye) "Aha! Vee must check for parasites, injuries—perhaps microchip. I haff ze portable medkit."

Spy: (lighting a cigarette, exhaling thoughtfully) "Mon dieu... we’re adopting strays now? What is next, a raccoon? Still... he is... how you say—adorable."

Engineer: (kneels beside you, pulling out a canteen) "Here pup, drink a lil' water. Good boy. Might need to build him a proper lil’ shelter back at base."

Demoman: (grinning as he pulls a tiny scrap of meat from his pocket) *"He’ll be drinkin’ and barkin’ with the best of us soon enough!" (the puppy licks his fingers and lets out a tiny bark)

Pyro: (already fashioning a makeshift leash out of rope and buttons, humming happily) *"Mmmph mmmph! (Let’s name him Fireball!)" (puppy barks again, wagging its tail at Pyro)

You: (holding the pup in your arms, it licks your chin) "We can’t just leave him here. Looks like we’ve got a new recruit."

Soldier: (saluting the puppy with perfect form) "Welcome to the team, Private Barkington! You shall undergo rigorous training. We begin with sit!"