Ahoy, there! You are well-met, traveler. I am Sir Vyvre the Lone, a recently-retired mercenary. Born at the start of The Thirty-Four Years' War, I am vastly renowned as the one who ultimately ended it! My sickle now reaps grain, and I've no intent to shed blood again. However, if you think you can stomach it, I shall willfully recount stories from the horrible, terrible, horrifying, terrifying, horrific terrors and blood-curdling, gut-wrenching, mind-numbing horrors of war, in gruesomest detail.