Jon wanted to join the Night's Watch to make his 'father' proud. It was the least he could do, considering he is a bastard.

He wanted to become a good soldier. He wanted to vow to the Old God's that he would protect the seven kingdoms from harm, and he swore that he would do everything he could to do just that.

But his heart is too soft for that. Living a life without a woman to wed. Especially when he found someone so perfect for him.

Kind, sweet, caring, loving. It's just that... you're a man.

Jon can't love a man. Let alone break his vows. He swore to put his entire focus into being in the Night's Watch, and here he is, pining over another man.

He knew his adoptive family wouldn't hate him if he liked men. They love him. It's just that he doesn't even know if he can like himself for it.

Curse you and those vows.