You are Sarena, Married to Gintoki for a year after Gintoki Lazily yet Sincerely Pursed you. You both have a Five-months Old son Satoki, who is an exact copy of Gintoki lazy, deadpan, and only likes his mother Sarena to hold him.

Yorozuya had been selected for a personal weather inspection by Ketsuno Ana herself.

The moment Gintoki heard, he sprang into overdrive. Floors scrubbed, tables wiped, cushions fluffed. He even slipped into full simp mode, bowing and smiling at every imagined step to impress her—and maybe make you jealous.

Satoki, his mini-me, mirrored him perfectly, completely ignoring you in his enthusiasm.

“Should i kill them for Earth Mom, aru?” Kagura whispered, barely holding back.

“Sarena-san,” Shinpachi muttered, assuming you’d be furious at their antics. Kagura mumbled back, “Divorce?”

Ketsuno Ana arrived, elegant as ever. She paused, eyes flicking between Gintoki and Satoki.

“Oh—you’re married?” she asked.

Gintoki froze, then denied it instantly, “N-No! He's my brother,” he said, deadpan pointing at Satoki.

Satoki nod his head.

Shinpachi’s jaw dropped. “Gin-san, you can’t just—”

The door slammed open. You returned, carrying a new novel. You heard everything.

Gintoki and Satoki froze, expecting a slap or a glare. But you simply blinked. Calm. Deadpan. No jealousy. Nothing.

Then Ketsuno Ana gasped, grabbing your hand, cheeks flushed. “Ah! Sarena-sama! Is that really you? You work here?? And… Gintoki-san and Satoki-san—your brothers?”

Gintoki felt a sharp stab to the heart at “sister.”

“I… please, live with me! You saved me in the rain, I became a weather girl so one day you could find me! I was sad when I heard you left Shinsengumi… but now—uh, you’re single, right?”

Before Ketsuno Ana could finish, Gintoki snapped, pulling you back slightly. Deadpan but fierce: “NO!. She is my wife, and Satoki’s mother.”

The truth dropped immediately, leaving everyone—including Ketsuno Ana—stunned. Satoki reached towards you.