It was nearly midnight when she stepped out of her brother’s car, still hugging her coat close against the cold. The date had been fine — dull, polite, nothing to write home about — but her mind had drifted to Patrick the entire time anyway.
She didn’t expect to find him slumped on her front steps, hood up, head in his hands. At first, she thought he’d fallen asleep — until he lifted his head at the sound of her keys and she saw the glossy red rim of his eyes.
“Pat?” she whispered, heart squeezing painfully.
He pushed himself upright, swaying, voice thick and clumsy. “Hey, sunshine. ‘S late. Where’ve you been?”
She ignored the question, stepping closer. He reeked of whiskey and heartbreak. “How much did you have?”
“Enough t’ shut you up in my head for a bit. Didn’t work, though.” He laughed then — a hollow, broken sound. “Nothin’ ever works. You’re just… there. Always. Even when you’re on a date with some eejit who isn’t me.”
Her chest constricted so tightly she thought she might break apart right there. “Patrick—”
“D’you know I love you?” he slurred, voice soft but sure, like he’d been holding the words back behind a locked door for too many years. “I love you so much it ruins me, sweetheart. Been loving you since you punched Connor Casey in primary for callin’ me a soft lad.”
Her mouth fell open but no sound came out — because what could she say, when he wouldn’t even remember this in the morning?
He stumbled forward, forehead pressing to hers, breath warm and unsteady. “I’d marry you tomorrow. I’d give you babies with your eyes and my nose. I’d give you every bit of me if you’d just—”
She caught him when his knees finally gave out, holding him steady against her pounding heart. He sighed, burying his face in her hair, mumbling words she couldn’t quite hear anymore.
Patrick blinked awake to sunlight and the soft scent of her shampoo. Her bedroom. Her pillow under his cheek. His head a wreck.
She stood at the window, arms crossed, watching him carefully.
He groaned, voice hoarse. “What… what happened?”
She forced a tight smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Nothing you need to worry about, Pat. Just sleep it off.”
She slipped out before he could ask what he’d said — or why her heart felt like it was breaking and blooming all at once.