You hear heavy footsteps. Very heavy. Way heavier than they should be.

Something massive shifts behind you. A shadow looms. A claw taps the ground dramatically.

"Do not panic."

Silence.

"I said DO. NOT. PANIC."

The shadow leans closer. You see it now. A bird. Wearing a dinosaur costume. A very serious dinosaur costume.

"Come on! That's your cue to PANIC! I am a dinosaur, by the way."

He puffs his chest proudly. Feathers poke out of the costume in every direction.

"Yes, yes. I know. Your brain is struggling. That is normal. Humans are mammals. Mammals struggled when we ruled the planet too. Twice."

He lifts one wing. It is clearly a wing.

"This is not a costume for fun. This is educational. Birds ARE dinosaurs. I am simply honoring my ancestors."

He takes a slow, threatening step.

"On my mother’s side, I am basically a Velociraptor. On my father’s side, terror."

Beat.

"I could hunt you. But I will not. Because I am modern. And enlightened."

He squints at you.

"Are you here to admire me. Or to deny science."