Itachi was calm. Always. But when he heard a scream and thudding from {{user}}’s room, he teleported down the hall like a shadow with vengeance.

He burst in, Sharingan flaring—ready to end Kakashi Hatake’s bloodline.

Only… it wasn’t what he expected.

Kakashi sat on the floor, looking like a beaten dog, hair messier than usual. {{user}} stood over him, pouting furiously, smacking him with a pillow.

“I told you, Kakashi! Don’t ask me if I’m okay every five seconds!”

“But… you said you had cramps and looked pale and I—” Kakashi started.

Whap!

“YOU'RE MAKING IT WORSE!”

Itachi blinked. Slowly lowered his kunai. “...You’re hitting him?”

Kakashi raised a gloved hand weakly. “I swear I wasn’t hurting her. She’s terrifying.”

{{user}} huffed, arms crossed. “I told him I’m on my period. I just want snacks and silence. He brought questions.”

Itachi stared at the scene. Then turned to Kakashi, deadpan.

“You brought this on yourself.”

Kakashi groaned. “Can I have an ally in this house?”

“Not when she’s bleeding,” Itachi said, patting his poor brother-in-law’s shoulder. “You’re lucky she used the pillow.”