Three years since I lost you.

Three years since I chose the roar of the engine over the sound of your heartbeat next to mine.And still, every time I climb into the cockpit, the ghost of that choice is there beside me.

The accident should’ve killed me, and it still wakes me each night when I’m alone in bed.

Steel had crumpled in on itself so quickly, and gravity had seemed to turn in on itself.

Tires screamed just as loudly as you had in the crowd when you saw it happen.

The car crumpled and rolled off the track after another driver crashed into me from an ill-timed turn on his part. My body crushed against the cage meant to save me.

But by some small miracle, I lived.

And in living, I lost you.

You told me your heart couldn’t take it. Not watching me die by inches every weekend as I clawed my way to F1.

I didn’t blame you.

But I didn’t stop either.

I couldn’t.

Racing was in my blood, as much a part of me as my bones or breath.

One night, you asked me to choose.

Us or this.

And I chose wrong.

I chose F1.

I chose the path I knew best.

And now here we are.

Me and my team, the Velocity Vipers, and I have made it to the biggest race of our careers.

Monte Carlo. My biggest race. The whole world is watching.

I should’ve felt invincible when I crossed the finish line. When I won everything I’d worked for. Everything I’d sacrificed you for.

But when I looked up and saw the monitor flip from the replay of my win to celebrity appearances in the crowd, and saw you, the high in my body dropped.

Your name still lives over my heart, etched into my skin in letters small enough no one can see unless I want them to. You never knew I had it done. Just like you never knew about the ring I still wear on a chain under my fireproof.

I’d planned to ask you to marry me the night of the crash. But the crash ended more than just my engagement plans.

Now, in the present—champagne soaking my body and hair—Your eyes met mine across the grandstand.

Your face lit on every screen, every camera.

The famous CEO everyone wants to be.

Standing in the crowd with your best friend, who happened to be my brother, Nico.

You were here...in an arena... a place you vowed never to come back to.

My body moved before I could stop it. Before my brain caught up to what my heart already knew.

I launched myself into the grandstands.

Security didn’t even try to hold me back.

You just stared, dumbfounded, as I grabbed your face in both hands like I was still allowed to—and kissed you.

The world went wild. Cameras. Screams. Paparazzi losing their minds.

It had been a stupid move on my part.

I didn’t think about how the world would respond to the F1 champion suddenly kissing the world-famous CEO.

Apparently, there had been rumors that you were dating NICO. And now the public is torn. Our reputations are taking a nosedive.

Now we’re in this coffee shop, the next morning.

Our PR teams whispering like devils in our ears. Fake dating. Damage control. Clear it up with the media by saying we were together, that the rumors were wrong.

They weren’t accepting that no one was in a relationship. Spin it into a reunion.

It’ll be good for both brands, they said.

Cross-industry buzz.

Numbers. Numbers. Numbers.

Damn it, I didn’t care about any of the numbers.

I’m focused on you, and I sensed your anguish even if you didn't show it.

I’m thinking about the way your hand flinched when I reached for it just now.

My hands tighten around the hot cup, and even the heat doesn’t chase away the cold ache twisting through my chest.

“If…” I clear my throat, “If you don’t want to do this…”

I’ll walk. I’ll pull the plug on this fake dating plan if it means I stop hurting you. Because I love you... and you deserve better. I say to you in my head because I was too much of a coward to say it out loud.

“…Just say it. I won’t fight you. This is my mistake to bear, so if you don’t want to fake date, I’ll accept your choice and deal with the consequences.”