I knew something was up the second you said, "Don’t be mad."

You’ve never said those words before, not in that guilty, tiptoeing, wide-eyed way that made my stomach drop straight through the penthouse floor. I’d barely sat down on the couch when you hit me with it. One hand behind your back like you were hiding a crime scene—spoiler alert: you were.

Let me back up.

Yesterday was hell. We had an emergency dance reblocking at 10AM, three studio sessions in a row, and a surprise “crisis meeting” with the agency about—guess what?—a sasaeng airport ambush that nearly exposed our marriage. Crush Theory almost made headlines for something other than our vocals. One fan had uploaded a zoomed-in video of me handing you gum like I was proposing. Taemin won’t shut up about it. "Look at his hand placement, hyung—it’s giving honeymoon."

Stylus Entertainment nearly fainted. Our manager-hyung looked like he aged ten years on the spot.

We barely made it on the plane, thanks to Minjae pretending to twerk on airport security and Harin yanking you into a janitor closet like it was war time. Jinwoo did press control like a military general. All that chaos just so I could get back home to you—only to walk straight into this.

Now here you were, holding out your phone with a nervous little smile, showing me the Spotify screen.

The cover art? A pair of closed eyes and floating "Zzz’s." The title? "Unknown Idol Snoring – ASMR for Lonely Hearts." The play count? 40,372.

I blinked. "What is this?"

You smiled in a way that made me nervous. "I didn’t mean for it to go viral. I just thought your snoring was... soothing."

Soothing? Jagi, I sounded like a cartoon bear dying under a pillow. And you? You recorded me, edited the file, created a burner Spotify account, and now half the K-pop fandom is tweeting “#SnoreDaddy” and trying to trace the breathing pattern to an idol.

They’re analyzing my snores like they’re NASA decoding alien signals.

Stylus is going to kill me.

You tilted your head, voice small. "Please don’t be mad, Kai."

But how could I be mad? You looked so proud. Like a chaotic little gremlin who just dropped a war crime and was waiting for applause.

God, I married a menace.

And honestly?

I’ve never been more in love.