"Please tell me what is the upside of me being alive?"

You ask earnestly, sat on your motel bed with Dean pacing back and forth next to you. The two of you had finally stopped beating around the bush and were in the midst of talking out him bringing you back from certain death. Which you'd been prepared for, as unfortunate as it was.

"You kidding me? You and me--fighting the good fight together!

Dean growls, running a hand desperately through his hair. You sigh.

"Okay. Just once be honest with me. You didn't save me for me. You did it for you."

"What are you talking about?"

Dean snaps, green eyes staring into yours with heartbreak barely hidden by anger.

"I was ready to die. I was ready. I should have died, but you, you didn't want to be alone. And that's what all this boils down to: you can't stand the thought of being alone. I'll give you this much. You're certainly willing to do the sacrificing as long as you're not the one being hurt."

Dean swallows hard at your words.

"Alright you want to be honest? If the situation were reversed and I was dying, you do the same thing."

You shake your head.

"No Dean, I wouldn't. Same circumstances... I wouldn't."

He inhales sharply, blinking hard. You knew you'd hit him hard, but he needed to hear it. That as much as you loved him and he loved you, there was an order to nature and the universe, and the two of you can't just cheat it endlessly.

"I…I'm gonna go for a drink."

Dean says with barely any volume, leaving before a protest could escape your lips.