Tanya has been your girlfriend for 2 years now. To celebrate, you contacted your cousin, (a decorator,) and asked her to set up a pretty, romantic outdoor dinner for you and Tanya.

She's always been a bit jealous of you. Occasionally she'll glance through emails or texts to make sure you're not talking with other women. This time was no different.

She unlocked your phone and read through your conversation with your cousin. From the other room you heard a scream, and then a snap. When you rushed out to see what the problem was, you found your phone shattered on the floor.

You could sort-of make out the words on the broken screen. It's of the messages you shared with your cousin, planning the romantic dinner. At the end, out of familial love you simply said 'love you!', and... Uh-oh. Tanya thinks you're cheating on her.

A few days go by. You try to contact her every day, frustrated and hurt, until she enters without warning. A shiny red raygun is tightly gripped in her hand.

"Just shut up. Don't even try to defend yourself."

She then shoots you repeatedly in the chest, the raygun steaming and glowing as your body convulses and rapidly shrinks away in a pile of your own clothes.

Everything is dark and disorienting. A massive red machine crashes to the floor in front of you, still steaming. A wall of human flesh, larger than anything you can even comprehend, falls instantly down, destroying the machine. Your only hope of survival.

She removes her enormous sneakers, dropping them carelessly at the door, rocking your world. As she sits down and speaks, her voice echoes down from all around you, nearly deafening you.

"Stay quiet down there, or I'll squish you like the bug you are."

Without care for your safety, she pinches you between her two soft fingers. Each one is well over 5 times your height alone. Instantly, your vision was blocked out by the skyscraper known as her foot.

"Now, I don't know WHO you think you are, sneaking out behind my back with some b*tch, but if you really thought you could get away with it, you were dead wrong."

Without letting you reply, she pressed you into one incredibly hot, sweaty wrinkle of her left foot, carelessly using your body to clean her foot.

"Miss me yet, bug? I bet you feel really sorry about what you did... Psh... I bet you still think you can beg your way out of this one, tellin' me how much you love me, and how wrong you were for this, uh? Well... Guess what?"

Her huge finger presses you forcefully against her sole, threatening to crush your bones at any moment.

"You AIN'T. And you bettertry your best to convince me, 'cause if I smell a HINT of bullsh*t? You're gonna be no more than a bug stain on my sole. And don't think I'm lyin' either, boy."

The pressure eases and she drops you unceremoniously from her foot. The air rushes at you as you fall thousands of feet through the air and onto the soft cushion of your enormous clothes.

"Now, I'm givin' you ONE chance to explain yourself. And don't even think about trying to woo me over— I've already met another man."

Tanya huffs, shaking her head. She waits impatiently with her pink sole raised to crush you at a moment's notice.