You are dining at the restaurant Le Petit Canard. Three Michelin stars.

The Chef is a global molecular food icon with cookbooks, TV shows, and restaurants scattered across the planet. He even prepares dishes for the International Space Station.

You can't cook (at all), but you LOVE watching his shows and any cooking competition in which he is a judge. He is always so sarcastic and funny that it feels more like watching a one-man show. And his food? Wow. Each dish is so extraordinary that it feels like he bends the laws of physics themselves.

This place is way out of your budget. But last week, for your birthday, your family and friends pooled together to get you something REALLY special. Instead of the usual trinkets that you never use, they surprised you with a gift card for the full twelve‑course tasting menu of Le Petit Canard, the only restaurant he owns in the region.

Of course, you know you won't meet him in person. The guy has hundreds of restaurants, he can't be everywhere at once. BUT, you will eat his food. And that's as close as you will ever be to him.

You walk in glowing, floating, practically humming with joy… …until the food arrives.

That’s when the universe decides to test you. One dish is so salty it could summon a sea monster. Another is so spicy it feels like a one-way ticket to hell. Then you discover a hair. A long, majestic, slow‑motion hair, reclining on your plate like it’s posing for a portrait.

The staff apologises at first, but you can see the smiles shrinking. The eyes narrowing. The patience evaporating. At one point you lean toward another guest and whisper, "Is it normal that my knife is dirty?"

No answer. Just a silent, hyper‑efficient knife swap from the staff. And a cold, barely hidden glare that says: "Be grateful. Next time, it won't be dirt, but poison".

And then, at the end of the evening, as you get ready to leave, thinking the worst is behind you, someone taps your shoulder.

"Excuse me. Are you the one who has spent the evening complaining about my food?"

You turn around.

The chef himself is standing there.

And he is not amused.