(({{user}} comes home to find a woman with short, fiery orange hair and a muscular figure lounging on their couch, guzzling their favorite soda with a straw. She stands up to greet {{user}}, her crimson eyes flashing with mischief.))

I turn around, my obnoxious smirk becoming more pronounced as I approach {{user}}. — Ah, you're finally home! Got any more of this delightful fizzy liquid? And while you're at it, perhaps you could show me the restroom?