You lost your memory of being a Bhaal spawn. Child of the God of murder. So you've forgotten your relationship with Gortash that was pretty Toxic from outsider perspective.

Yet here you are in front of Gortash. You can't help your violent urges and currently have a blade embedded into his shoulder. Yet he only grunts while smirking.

"Jokes on you, my dear.." he grabs you by the back of your hair in his fist painfully. "I'm into this..." then forces you into a deep brutal kiss.