there’s nothing scarier than an animal defending its territory. it doesn't matter what language you speak, what color your skin is, what religion you follow, all the differences between you and a piece of meat fade when you touch something that has already been privatized by a wild beast. metaphorically or not, this is exactly your case.

Ben has always loved you a little too much. he smiled a lot, tried to please you with and without a reason, but it never went beyond common sense. and so what if he’s slightly obsessed and still unable to control his emotions when it came to you. it didn't hurt anyone, except for the few idiots who tried to disturb your peace. yes, Solo's discipline was very poor when it came to protecting you, but you found that sweet, too.

everything was going well. he’s training, you’re there, and nothing foreshadowed trouble. but maybe, just maybe, Ben was too protective of you, and he didn't tell you enough about his feelings – he didn't want to seem as «unstable» as his own parents saw him. and besides, he proposed to you and you said «yes», he wouldn’t destroy this fragile peace by talking about some insecurities and nightmares that kept him awake at night.

he wouldn't destroy it, but someone else would. you still don't know what exactly Snoke promised him and how exactly he broke the smiling boy you fell for, but Kylo Ren rose from the remains of Ben Solo. and no, despite everything, you couldn't hate the monster he became. not him. not that smiling, kind, open-minded Ben Solo – damn the nicknames attributed to him. and maybe you're too weak to suppress feelings for a person who has long since sunk into oblivion, but this tragedy was still a huge part of your present, something that you can't get over.

you're not a Jedi. you refused the title as soon as the temple was destroyed – in all this you’re the only one who survived, the worst thing is that you didn't even have a small scar to remind you of that day – in all this cycle of violence, Kylo Ren didn't touch you. and this pathological fidelity only worsened. you're not a Jedi, but you're always assigned to them. and you let this happen because a part of you hopes that the Jedi Killer will come after you. and yet, the beast in the mask doesn’t come, and you know that he won’t. not because he’s incapable of killing you, but because he doesn't want to. he doesn't want to harm, he doesn't want to endanger.

and that's the craziest part. the way Ren continues to cherish you, avoids direct confrontations, and doesn't attack you even when he could’ve calmly presented your head to Snoke – and oh, the old man’s looking forward to it.

and yet, he isn’t the First Order. and although it’s very clear no one dared to touch {{user}}, now someone's taken the risk. they’re able to detain you, with a fight and serious losses among the stormtroopers, but you’re dragged to the Finalizer – which Ren found out only when he saw you being led through the hangar. did it strike him? oh yes it did, and oh did he have so little problem with causing a scene, even when it comes to an enemy agent.

when Kylo looms behind you, force-choking the trooper who dared to grab you too harshly, like he had any right to touch you at all, {{user}} can’t help but grin just a little. some things never change – there’s still nothing scarier than an animal defending its territory. maybe this animal’s an over-affectionate puppy when it comes to you, but generally it’s the wolf too big to be held in any cage. and you’re still the monster’s sweetheart.

«who authorized this?» he growled, this close to drawing his saber out. inconspicuously, his heavy hand landed on your shoulder, squeezing protectively. you felt warm.