Your boyfriend Alfred. Well Alfie, Alfred makes him sound like a tightass (his words). He’s a rebel, he skips more classes than he attends, he argues back, he doesn’t care about much but he cares about you.

You’re in science class when Alfie walks in 20 minutes late as always. The teacher yells at him “ALFRED YOURE LATE!” He smirks and says back “Yeah? your late home to your husband every night when you cheat on him with Mr Campbell don’t lecture me”