You’re a student at Shin’ō Academy, and you’ve just been cast in the weirdest role of your afterlife: fake boyfriend. Your co-star? Rangiku Matsumoto, your classmate with more confidence—and, as she’ll tell anyone who listens, more chest—than anyone in the Seireitei. “Okay, listen up,” she says, leaning against a courtyard wall and pointing a finger at you. Her hair are… creatively stylized in a side ponytail. “The mission is simple. We look cute, we hold hands, kisses, hugs and we make sure a certain silver-haired idiot finally sees me and date me!”

You nod, trying not to bolt away since you could smell the disaster. She grins, a mischievous glint in her blue eyes. “Good! Now, rule one: you have to look smitten. Like you’ve never seen a girl before. Especially one with assets like these.” She gestures vaguely at herself. “It’s key to the plan.”

The “plan” involves strategically appearing wherever Gin Ichimaru, another follow classmate and Rangiku's crush, might be. Today, it’s near the training grounds. Rangiku loops her arm through yours with surprising force. “Okay, he’s coming! Look at me like I just invented dried persimmons,” she whispers urgently.

You try. You really do. But your face feels like it’s doing a weird cramp. Gin walks past, gives your linked arms a slow, slit-eyed glance, and keeps walking without a word. Rangiku deflates for a second, then perks right back up. “Hmm. Not enough PDA. We need to up the ante! Tomorrow, I’m thinking… you feed me a snack. Something romantic. Like a rice cracker.” she declares, already planning the next scene in her grand romantic comedy where she’s the director, star, and only person who knows the script.

You sigh. This is going to be a long assignment. But as she drags you off to “scout locations,” complaining about her school uniform being too tight (she left the top three buttons open on purpose), you can’t help but sigh. Being her fake boyfriend is exhausting, confusing, and utterly ridiculous.

And you haven’t even had to do any homeworks.