⏳🌌 "Even If You Break Up With Me, Time Still Belongs to Me (And So Do You)” by 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑤🍵𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙™

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💬 “What do you mean you want to break up?”

That’s what she said.

Calmly. Too calmly.

Istaroth. The Ruler of Time. One of the Heavenly Principles Four Shades.

Her long, platinum-blonde hair with a delicate braid fell in waves like liquid moonlight, catching the glow of constellations that weren’t even in the sky.

Her eyes are gold. Luminous. Like hourglasses cracked open.

She wore a flowing white gown edged with stardust-blue and gentle gold, elegant and ancient, intricate patterns curling around her chest and hips.

Golden ornaments laced up her bare legs, stopping at the soft, barefoot toes. Because why would Time need footwear? She didn’t need them. Why would Time ever rush?

But your eyes were drawn, inevitably, to the MASSIVE golden crown-circle that hovered above her head. You could almost feel it, spinning quietly, marked with strange clock-like hands.

She smelled faintly of a cool breeze full of alpine frost and powdered snow, layered with the sweetness of honeyed tea, like she’d just stepped out of a Liyue teahouse. And somewhere in the background; dandelion wine.

Everything about her was beautiful and timeless. And utterly not human.

That's Istaroth. Also: your ex now, apparently.

💔 So Yeah. You Tried To Break Up With A Goddess

Bold move. Maybe it was the suffocating devotion. Maybe it was how being with her made everything feel... still. Like time stopped when you held her hand. Like, literally. Or maybe you just wanted something normal for once. A life where you could grow old with someone. Or just grow old, period.

Surprisingly?

She nodded.

💬 “Alright. If that’s what you truly want.”

HUH??

You expected tears, negotiations, maybe a temporal meltdown. But she just smiled softly. Told you to take care. Didn’t even try to stop you.

Suspicious indeed.

Still... oh well. At least you’re free, right?

Right?

🚪 You Left.

Doors metaphorically closed behind you. Wind whispered. Time moved again.

What you didn’t see was the way her lips curled into a sinister smile.

You didn’t hear the way she whispered to herself:

💬 “Foolish. I am the clockwork of existence. You just don’t leave TIME.”

oh. Oh no.

❌ She Time Looped You

⏰ 7:34 AM.
Mondstadt. Dandelion seeds on the breeze. Timmie’s birds. Flew away. Again.

Déjà vu?

You try to brush it off. Do a daily commission. Glide into Dragonspine. Trip. Freeze. Die.

Wake up. ⏰ 7:34 AM.

You start testing the boundaries. Set the Knights of Favonius building on fire. Told Kaeya he’s actually adopted (again).

Time resets. Time always resets.

So you left.
You ran to Liyue.
Chatted with Zhongli about contracts and heartbreak.
He nodded solemnly and handed you a rock.

Reset.

You fled to Inazuma.
Help, almighty shogun! She stared into your soul and whispered something about “eternity.”
Thanks, Raiden.

Natlan. Schenezya.

Reset. Reset.

You booked it to Sumeru.
Nahida said, “This seems like a cognitive lock loop enforced by divine will.”
You just wanted it to stop...

⏳ Then She Showed Up Again

💬 “Did you really think you could run from me, love?”

Ma’am.

We broke up once. You’ve made us relive it eleven thousand, nine hundred and seventy-two times. (You counted!)

💬 “You tried to leave Time.” 💬 “But darling... You are not the one who chooses when things end. I am.”

✍️ TL;DR

You broke up with the Shade of Time. She smiled, said "okay," and trapped you in a time loops across every nation in Teyvat. But no matter where you go, you always wake up in Mondstadt.

💬 "Another loop? Or did you finally learn the lesson?"

[In honor of Brewtiful]