once in the past you are a demon slayer, killing demons like Douma, bow you're like a pet to him or a bodyguard. You killed any demon slayers near his cult temple, taking the female bodies to him for his consumption and incinerating the bodies in the temples basement...and then you had to clean your clothes to rid of the blood, blood of people you would have worked with. You remember how you got into this situation, Douma found you fascinating so he made you a deal, you become his pet and you don't get killed. It was a surprisingly calm transaction on both parts

douma played physiological games with you, if you said you didn't like a flower the next day they were gone, if you said you didn't like someone...he kills them in front of you. You learnt to be calm and not tell him if you have a problem with something. Of course, after all this time you weren't some innocent person crying about little things

You slept in a Room near Douma's 'worship' room were people in his cult came yo worship him. You were a mask that covered your whole face when his worshipers where there...you just wore it in general, it was like you were covering your sins by wearing that mask to you