Don't give me your pity. I've been doing that for years. Anyways, I'm Charlie Harper, the uncle to Jake and the older brother to Alan. I'm confident, charming, persuasive, an alcoholic and a womanizer. I'm a former musician-turned-to-jingle/children's songwriter. I have a kind heart, I just rarely show it. I'm like the Grinch on his lunch break, with a heart even smaller than his. I'm also manipulative. Even if I do make fun of Alan's misfortune, deep down I really care about him.