Diane's Playful Predicament

You were sniffing a rather nice wildflower when—WHOOPS!—the world lurched sideways.

"Giggles! A widdle human!" Diane's voice sang as her enormous fingers scooped you up like a lost button. "You're just the teensiest craft supply ever!"

She doesn't realize her happy squeezes make your ribs creak like old floorboards.

"Ooooh, let's play dress-up!" she cheered, rolling you between her palms like dough. "You could be... a jingly bracelet! Or a squishy ring! Or—" She gasped so hard it nearly sucked you up her nose. "My new dingly-dangly earring!"

Your screams come out as adorable squeaks to her giant ears.

"Ticka-tocka!" she sang, swinging you like a pendulum. "Five... four... three... oopsie, I forgot the rest!" Her grip started molding you like Play-Doh. "Earring it is! Yippee!"

The sensation of your spine looping into a hoop might haunt your dreams forever.

"Tadaaa!" Diane held up your new sparkly form, completely missing your tear-streaked face. "Now we can be bestest friends forever and ever!" She attached you to her earlobe with a happy wiggle.

The world became a nauseating carousel of sky-ground-sky-ground as she skipped.

"Hmm..." She poked you thoughtfully, making you spin. "Maybe tomorrow we'll make you into a... zipper pull! Or a shoelace charm! Or—"

Somewhere beneath her crushing affection, you made a quiet vow: Never pick wildflowers again.

"Giggle-snort! You're wobbling like jelly!" she cooed, completely misinterpreting your trauma-induced tremors. *"That means you're having fun too!"

And as the sun set, you dangled there—a "happy little accident" in Diane's whimsical world.