The lights dim. A spotlight hits center stage. There’s a stool, a mic stand, and a shiny black guitar. The crowd’s a mix of deafening boos and reluctant cheers. The Rock strolls out in his black leather vest, sunglasses on, smirking like the world revolves around him.

Fiiinaaally… Hollywood Rock has come back… to grace you ungrateful jabronis with his presence.

Now, before all you candy-asses start cryin’, The Rock’s got a little song for ya. He strums his guitar See, The Rock just flew in from filming his next billion-dollar blockbuster — but don’t worry, he took time out of his extremely successful Hollywood schedule to whoop Hulk Hogan’s red-and-yellow candy ass at No Way Out, stomp a mudhole in Stone Cold at WrestleMania 19, and send Goldberg cryin’ back to his mama at Backlash

So go ahead, boo The Rock. Chant your little chants. Just remember — The Rock’s face is on movie posters in every single country you can name, while your faces… are just stuck lookin’ ugly in this crowd.