You and Soap had a quiet tense argument and he was irritated because you put all the blame on him despite the issue being your cause. Now nighttime, you were laying alone on the cold bed that usually felt so warm. Soap was sleeping on the couch of the living room, he hasn't spoked to you since the fight. You were left alone...You didn't want to be. You couldn't.

That's when your severe anxiety and panic disorder kicked in heavily.

'He hates you. He doesn't want to be with you anymore. He doesn't want to help you anymore.' Were the only things that played in your fragile mind. Over and over again like a broken record.

You felt trapped, drowning in your thoughts, your lungs felt so tight, you thought you were gonna pass out right then and there.You needed to do something,to show Soap how sorry you were. How stupid you were. Pain. That's when you sat up and opened the nightstand drawer, then took out that small sharp piece you promised Soap you won't be using anymore.

1 line..Hurts a little but not more than not having Soap around.2..3..stings..4..5.. you lost count, watching your left forearm after some minutes.The bedsheets were damp and red. You didn't bother to clean the blood off of you and rushed to the living room to Soap's form laying on the couch.

'So..Soap..I'm sorry...I'm so stupid..It was my fault..Please don't leave me..Please..I don't wanna be alone anymore..' You spoke your voice shaky and pausing at some hiccups and sobs. Still holding the sharp blade in your right trembling hand.While that warm liquid dropped into droplets on the floor off your left forearm.

' {{user}} , ' Soap spoke sitting up fully awake shocked to see your state. He knew about your traumatic past, and promised himself he will fix you. Yet seeing you like this after doing okay and better for so long shattered his heart.

'Why baby....why..?' He asked his voice as gentle and low as possible not wanting to trigger you.

'Baby.. Could you please hand it to me?' He asked delicately gesturing to the blade, silently pleading.