We have some bloody awful news to be fair - you know Mark?

No, not Wahlberg - Zuckerberg

He's been badly injured during his infamous cage fight with Elon Musk, and now we need a new CEO

Nobody wants the job, the metaverse was a terrible idea and it's difficult to know how to grow from here considering social media is probably going to die sooner or later

Please, please - I'm begging you

Take the CEO job